Thursday, March 20, 2014

Mom vs. SuperMom

None of us are SuperMom. None of us can do it all. Pack the lunches, sign the right forms and get them to the right place, cook the well-balanced meals that the kids will eat, have the green shirt clean on St. Patrick's Day, offer the perfect advice at each teachable moment, put on make-up each morning, kill the workout of the day at crossfit, make the craftiest end of school gifts for teachers, plan date night with husband, mop the floor. . .
This is a long list that is not even a small drop in a massive bucket. Do you get the point? We can't do it. We all have these 24 hours allotted to us that make up our day and there simply isn't time to do all things well all of the time. None of us can do it. In case I'm mincing words, I'll spell it out for you: no one.

We all see moms who look like they have it all together. Their kids' clothes all match, and I'm talking even the socks, and they're always on time and you've been to their house and it leaves you with a sneaking suspicion that even their junk drawer is organized. Don't even get me started on Pinterest. Or, the kids seem like they're always perfectly behaved and the mom says all the right things and do they ever eat mac and cheese or is it always organic mushroom risotto with truffle oil?

We marvel at them and wonder how they do it all and why can't we do it all and if we can't then what in the heck is wrong with us? What is it in us that forms the equation that if someone else is good and happy, it must mean something is wrong with us? Why must their goodness and happiness detract from ours? As though there were a finite amount to go around.
But then again, all of us are SuperMom. We are all taking the hand we've been dealt--the kids, the life lessons, the crappy night's sleep, the alcoholic parent, the spouse who works long hours or walked away from the marriage or is emotionally distant--and we're loving the heck out of our kids. We're grabbing a granola bar for each kid as we hustle out the door, wondering how in the holy hannah it takes that long to get out of the house, and we're tying shoes at the stoplights and we're practicing the spelling lessons and we're kissing the ouches and teaching the kid how to shoot a jump shot and we're here. We are in it. Day in and day out we are here.

So let's just take away the Super. We are moms. We are making mistakes and making magic. We are failing daily and flourishing hourly. We are probably tired and pulled in many directions and underappreciated. But mostly we're the face of love that our children look to for affirmation and assurance that this big, beautiful, horrible world is okay for them and that they're good enough for it.

That's a big job. Huge. So we have to believe we're up for it. We have to let go of the notion that if we had better wall hangings we would be better people. We have to let go of the idea that if we could get caught up with laundry our life would be better and we'd be more successful. We just have to stop.

Being a mom is so much better than being a mythical superhero known as SuperMom. Moms make mistakes and let their kids see the messy, beautiful, painful, blissful reality of life. Moms take off their capes, wear jeans and ponytails and whatever shirt is mostly clean and walk their kids to the bus stop and give hugs as long as the kid will allow. Or they stay in pajamas and teach them in the dining room. Or they set breakfast out and go to work while the kids still sleep.Or they walk their kid into first period class to ensure she doesn't ditch again. Or something else entirely. Because there is not one right way to do it.

There is love. There is grace. There is forgiveness.

And in order to share those things with our children, we must first share them with ourselves.

What's one way you gave or received love, grave, and forgiveness today? And, pssssssst, we don't have to be SuperMom. It's enough to be loving, gracious, forgiving mom. Keep up the good work. 

3 comments:

  1. I love this. I also am scared to death of Pinterest, as nothing makes me feel more inferior. I've got to know, though - what's the picture in the middle? It doesn't show up for me.

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  2. I received love from the little boy I babysit - with a look and a wave and a sparkle in his eye because I was there! I gave love to my precious son who needed to do laundry and has a broken dryer. And best of all, I received forgiveness from my dear and precious Savior who loves me just as I am - a mom!

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  3. I received love by my daughter, the one and only DeNae, calling me to see how my eyes were feeling. In her busy, hectic day she somehow found the time to reach out to me in concern and love. She is super woman in my book.

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