Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Just life.

I apologize for my absence from this space lately. I am at a point in my life where something has to give and usually writing is the thing that gives. OK, right now lots of things have to give. Add sleep, most forms of fitness, time with friends, and reading to the list. I miss writing and processing my life through words and hearing from you, but I'd rather post a few times a week and really think through what I write rather than fill this space with random words.

Blogging is a strange little world where people usually know more about the blogger than the blogger knows about them. I don't want to dwell on the bummer pieces of life too much because really, my life is pretty darn great, but I also don't want to paint an inaccurate picture of perfectly coiffed hair and perfectly behaved children and a perfectly planned life. (HA. Perfectly coiffed hair. Perfect children. Planned life. That's a good one, DeNae.)

Case in point: I forgot to order standardized tests for the kids so we'll have the joy of celebrating June by cracking open our test booklets. I brought the camera to take a picture of three of the kiddos singing in church on Sunday, but it didn't have a memory card. I forgot to bring a gift for the choir teacher. There's school to teach and babies to love on and parks to visit and kites to attempt (and fail) to fly and baseball games to enjoy (oh, lordy, are there baseball games!) and dance and piano recitals to prepare for and just good ol' life.

Because really, truly, life is good.

But I'd be lying by omission if I didn't say that things are piling up on my shoulders right now.

We're still waiting on results on the second round of blood work for Audrey. She is mostly her normal, really healthy, really happy 7-year-old self, but there are things that give me pause. And it is kind of freaking me out. I believe that we will figure it out and she will have no long-term ill effects, but in the right now I worry. Because she's my daughter and she cries when she has her blood drawn so I hate to think of the other things she might endure in the name of figuring this out and solving this puzzle.

Today we signed paperwork with our realtor to get our house on the market. My stomach lurched as I put my pen to paper for the first signature. Our game plan is to forego sleep until the house is ready for the first showing. We will not actually go days without sleep, but it is at a minimum these days as we box things up and paint walls. With each box I tape up, I try not to dwell on all we'll say goodbye to and instead focus on all we'll say hello to. But really, we're saying goodbye to a lot of people I love and will miss so much I will ache for a good long while.

It's the pull of life. The good with the bad. The sun with the rain and a beautiful rainbow thrown in to remind us that even in the storms, there is beauty. So, I try to spend my days searching for rainbows and dancing in the rainstorm of life. Sometimes it works and sometimes I just huddle under the umbrella and wait for a dry spell.
That's what we have going on here. Not perfection. Not life as seen on TV. Just life.

Thanks for joining me and reading along in our "just life."


  1. I wish I was there to help you. This darn thing called a job which is part of this thing called life. I know how hard it will be for you to say goodbye and I'm very sorry for that. But I will be here with open arms to help you when you're down. And there are so many phenomenal specialists at Children's Colorado that I can introduce you to to help figure this thing out with Audrey. One little piece of advice...get some sleep. You'll accomplish much more if you get a solid six hours versus running on total empty. Love you

  2. You are an amazing woman, DeNae! I know that you will persevere and I, too, wish I could be there to help you. Try to get some sleep as your mom said - running on empty will serve no purpose. Love you!