Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Life. When you don't even know what to wish for.

We visited the mountains of Colorado in March 2012 and fell in love. We wanted the hiking and the skiing and the whole lot of it.
We put our house on the market and wished for a buyer and a job for Jim to go along with it. We were wishing big. Then, instead, we got a wish we didn't even know we should wish for. We got the Asher boy. And when we found out about our cuatro baby, we took our house right off of the market just as fast as you can say, "What the?" because we couldn't wrap our  brains around a new baby and a new house, new job, new midwife, new pediatrician, new friends, new everything. I like change as much as the next girl, but that would have pushed me straight over the edge of crazy.

Cuatro grew and grew until my belly just couldn't house him anymore and then Asher was born and somehow eight months passed and a few weeks ago we had a big talk about our address. We ultimately decided that it wasn't worth it to push the job issue with Jim's work and that now wasn't the time. We might broach the subject again in another year or two, but not now. We told the kids that our life in limbo was over. We were going to be here in Minnesota so we don't have to say, "Well, if we still live here" or "Unless we move to Colorado." We were just here.

Then the next day we found out that Jim could probably transfer to Colorado. The very next day. Then last week we found out he definitely could transfer to Colorado. We had a nice, big laugh about the timing of all of this. In fact, we're still chuckling. HA!

There are so many reasons we want to live in Colorado. My mom and her husband are there. I haven't lived in the same state as my mom since I was 18. I miss her. The mountains are there. The winter on steroids is not. The lifestyle and beauty. I mean, really, it's Colorado.

There are so many reasons we would love to stay here. We love our community of friends. My brother and his family are here. So are my dad and his family. We love our church. We love the green grass in the spring and summer and the lakes. My running friends are here. It's been our home for a really long time. Did I mention we love, love, love our friends and family and our friends who are more like family?

We are in this really great situation, surrounded by wonderful options, and we don't really know what to wish for.

We are meeting with a few realtors tomorrow to discuss our options and we'll go from there. We anticipate that we will have our house on the market this month. And I'm so freaking excited. And I'm so freaking sad.

What I really want to do is gather up all of our coins and go to a wishing well and wish for our house to sell so we can move to Colorado and then we just scoop up all of our favorite people and bring them with us.

But that obviously can't happen.

So, like all things, we're taking the good with the bad. We're walking through new doors and closing old windows. We're taking Isaac's advice and we're Leaning Out and Looking Up to see what God has in store for our family.

We trust it will be good no matter where we end up. We trust there'll be hard stuff no matter where we end up. We trust there will be bellies aching with uncertainty and tears of sadness shed. We trust there will be times we think we've made a huge mistake. We trust we'll be in it together.

Life. Crazy, uncertain, beautiful, bold life.

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