If my kids don't know that I love them, then they aren't as bright as I give them credit for. If my husband knows I love them, he's a pretty good detective.
Sadly, that's how it's been for far too long. We've been stuck in this place where we both felt wronged and hurt and didn't want to make the first big move because. . . because we were stuck, I guess. And we both like to be right. And we both dig in our heels. Seventeen years of wedded bliss and anger and joy and wrath and we know just how to push each other's buttons and just how to make each other smile. Lately we've been doing much more button pushing than smile inducing. And that's just wrong.
When my kids are bothering each other I remind them that we are a family and we are supposed to make life easier for each other, not use our words or our actions to hurt each other. That's our job as part of a family and part of this world. So, I decided to take my own advice. It really is good advice.
Back to the gift. A handwritten note and 12 certificates good for one year of date nights as we discover Colorado together. Some were simple and free. The hike of his choice. A picnic at Lake Evergreen. Some would take time to prepare for. The 5k or 10k of his choice. Wicked at Denver Center for Performing Arts. Some would just be lots of fun. A night of comedy at Bovine Comedy Club. A dueling piano bar in Denver.
The certificates were easy. I knew we'd have fun and he'd think it was cool to discover new things about our new home state. The handwritten note was harder. It promised my time. My commitment. My heart. Things I'd promised him many years ago and had forgotten about somewhere along the way.
Somewhere between lots of moves in lots of states and a few countries. Somewhere between three kids in four years and a baby cuatro to round out our family of six. Somewhere between deployments and new jobs and homeschooling. Somewhere.
These are not valid reasons and couples have stayed strong and connected through situations far more stressful and daunting than anything we've ever experienced. Instead, they are excuses and, really, it just got to the point that enough is enough.
So, order. I am making time with my husband a priority.
|Lajes Field, Azores. Waaay back in the day.|
This week I'm focusing on marriage. On making my husband a priority and ensuring he knows just how I feel about him by the way I spend my time, the words I use, and my actions. What about you? What are you working on this week with your One Word or your resolution? Link up below or add your comment.
FYI: I'm failing miserably so far. I can't get the stupid link up thing to work even though I spent way too much time trying to get it all set up last night. I am tired and cranky and acting like a heel. Sometimes it seem likes I try to make changes and the world conspires against me to make me second-guess myself and my decision. Like, is it really worth it? Do you really want to work this hard? Wouldn't it be easier to just let it slide? So, I'm taking a crappy morning as a sign that I'm starting some really hard work in myself and that I should keep going because it matters. And I'm posting this even without a linkup and I'll try to figure it out after church and after I'm done hating technology and feeling like an idiot for not understanding something that is probably designed for a third grader. Oh, life, you are a tricky little thing.