Sunday, August 23, 2015

lessons

I'm not going to talk about my list. My life list that is long and stress-inducing and trying to eat me up and spit me out. I have my list and you have yours and we have to erase and rearrange and ask for help and do what we have to do. I won't get into that.

I will say that I am tired. Weary. Hanging on for dear life and grasping at the life vest to keep me afloat. It's hard to say that without sounding like a big, whiney McWhiner. There's a balance. Being honest and hoping people realize they aren't alone when they feel like life's seismic wave is going to crash over them while also acknowledging that in the grand scheme o' life, my problems are puny, little, teeny tiny problems. I know they are, but they're still my problems and they can still overwhelm me.

Here's my plan for tonight. Ignore the dishes, the trashed state of everything due to the dog accidentally being left out for an entire afternoon, and the to-do list to get ready for all of my upcoming Classical Conversations stuff. Instead I am playing with my puppy, the one who was accidentally left out all aternoon and didn't go to the bathroom in the house or totally demolish anything, although I'm certain that my computer didn't send out sparks when I plugged it in until today. I am plopping a few words down here. Then when I have the pup worn out, I am going to bed.

Today's lesson, and the one I'm sharing with my kids every time I say yes when people offer to drive them to sports practices or bring them home if I need to get Asher down for his nap, is that I'm only one person and I can only do so much. Today one of Isaac's coaches offered to drive him to pitching clinic on Tuesday. I cried behind my sunglasses. Tears of gratitude. I hate that I need this help. It makes me feel useless and less than and like I can't even do the one job I have well.

(Now I know this is dumb. I never think that when other people need help or ask for help, so why should I think that about my situation? We are a strange and unpredictable breed, we humans.)

It's back to school. We all thought our summers would be relaxing and then we did those three house projects and the kids all had swim lessons and sports and robotics and the car broke down and the snakes got into the house. Or whatever really happened to make your summer whiz by and leave you by the side of the road panting in exhaustion. Now it's fall and we're hoping the routine will make life slow down a bit. But here's the kicker. I am only one person and I can only do so much. Sorry to say, the same applies to you. We have these 24 hours in these 7 days. That's it.

What life lesson are you learning? It feels like I need reminders on the same few over and over again!

1 comment:

  1. I'm learning how to prep for weekly meals and get myself to work in a timely fashion. Also, I have to learn how to be helpful to grandparents, while working full-time.

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