Wednesday, September 7, 2016

It's all I can think to do

I'm not going to utter his name because his name doesn't deserve another thought. I'm going to talk about Jacob Wetterling and his family. I'm from central Minnesota. I am a year older than Jacob. My friends were his friends. My brother graduated from the same high school with his younger brother. We've hoped and prayed along with Jacob's determined, courageous, and incredible family. For 27 years we have hoped and prayed that Jacob was out there somewhere and that he would be brought home. This weekend those hopes and prayers were crushed. On Tuesday the details of the abduction, molestation, and murder were made known. I have thought of all of the adjectives I can and none of them come close to the disgust I feel.

I have a 12-year-old boy. How does one recover from this heartbreak, this sock in the gut, never breathe the same again, horrendous, incalculable pain? How does one go on?

I'm not going to utter his name. I'm going to talk about Jacob's mom, Patty Wetterling. While living a nightmare most of us cannot even bear to imagine, she fought hate and all the worst case scenarios that had to run through her mind on a daily, hourly, by the minute basis, She lobbied for change, created a foundation, ran for government office, and fought. She fought back against all of the pain and horror she was living and her weapons were, and remain, love and hope.

I have a 12-year-old boy. How does one recover from this? The pain that I assume must always be there, simmering beneath the surface sometimes, overflowing in weeping and horror at other times.

In Patty's case, she publicly worked for a better world for all children. Maybe that's all we can do. We can aspire to be a Patty Wetterling in a world too often marred by unfathomable murder, abuse, and pain. We can find our passions and use them to help people so that maybe, just maybe, we can help one person overcome hurt or offer another picture of life's possibilities to someone walking down the wrong path. It's all I can think to do.
quote from Jacob's mom after the discovery of Jacob's remains

I have a 12 year old. How does one survive this pain? With faith, courage, hope, and a vision of a better, safer world for our kids. When those four things feel as impossible as they do right now, when the world feels so deeply dark and depraved, we need them all the more.

I won't utter his name. I have thrown all of the swear words at him that I can think of. I have cried until I thought I was done and then cried some more. I know I will continue to cry, but, more importantly, I will channel this brokenness to be Jacob's Hope for my kids and your kids and your nieces and nephews and neighbors and students. I will hug tighter and love bigger and advocate harder. It's all I can think to do.

Join me, won't you? Be Jacob's Hope.


  1. Heard this one the local news here in NY today and my heart immediately broke for his family...I can not imagine what that young boy went through and what pain his family has had all these years and any shimmer of hope to be pulled out from under them today...All my prayers are for this broken hearted family...Great article DeNae.

  2. Hug all of your precious ones for me, DeNae! My heart is broken, too. Thank you for saying it so beautifully - let's be Jacob's Hope!